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In Havoc & In Heat/Transcript

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(Zoe's Carriage House)

Zoe Hart: Gross!

(Lavon's Plantation)

Zoe Hart: I have a question, why are you half naked? More importantly, why is the Earth on fire?

Lavon Hayes: Oh, Lavon Hayes would like to welcome you to your very first Bluebell heat wave! Where hot and bother takes on a whole new meaning!

Zoe Hart: Meaning...

Lavon Hayes: People tend to go a little crazy around here during this time of year! Yeah, you get ready to see half naked people doing full on crazy things. Oh yeah!

Zoe Hart: I don't wanna see that! I wanna sit in the freezer.

Lavon Hayes: You better watch yourself, girl. Cause the fever hits everyone eventually. Even New York City doctor types. Happens pretty soon, your freaky deaky will be on full display!

Zoe Hart: I doubt it.

Lavon Hayes: Trust me, hits everyone.

Zoe Hart: I hate to disappoint you, Lavon, but I don't have freaky deaky in me! I'm not a freaky deaky kind of person...ambitious, you betcha! But, I don't do crazy.

Wade Kinsella: Why not?

Zoe Hart: Since when did breakfast become clothing optional?

Wade Kinsella: Since there's a heat wave, baby!

Lavon Hayes: Come on, give me some!

Wade Kinsella: Alright! Bam!

Lavon Hayes: Trust me, Bluebell get's a lot more fun when it's 105 degrees out...and since Didi and I are going on our first date tomorrow night!

Wade Kinsella: Oh, yeah!

Zoe Hart: I don't understand how you people are happy about this weather. My contacts have literally melted onto my eyeballs.

Wade Kinsella: This weather is like a free pass to do anything you want. What's not to like?

Zoe Hart: I'm guessing that's a retorocal question. I am also assuming that you don't know what retorocal means.

Wade Kinsella: I think it means you haven't answered the question.

Zoe Hart: I know all about free passes, see it's like my mom and champagne...when she drinks she thinks that nothing counts. My mom used to throw these huge parties for her celebrity clients at our house, and so the champagne would flow and then the next day someone would be arreseted, someone would've lost their pants, and my mom would be found passed out behind the couch with one of her friends husbands and a Calvin Klein model.

Wade Kinsella: Exactly! Your mom knew how to enjoy a free pass.

Zoe Hart: Yeah, so much that she went on a Greek cruise...had sex with some guy and now I live in Alabama. Point is, I don't do crazy. I have seen crazy and crazy comes with consequences. There is no such thing as a free pass.

Lavon Hayes: Mhm...you'll see. When the weather is hot, you can not fight your ambitions, girl.

Wade Kinsella: You know you could look at this as an oppurtunity. What's the one thing you've wanted to do since you got here that you haven't done?Just go right ahead and do it! No judgements, no inabitions, just do it. You know what I mean?

Zoe Hart: Ok...maybe I do.

Wade Kinsella: Yeah!

(Lemon's Bedroom)

Lemon Breeland: Oh my goodness, George, baby why didn't you tell me it was so late?

George Tucker: I didn't know I was supposed to.

Lemon Breeland: Baby, I can't dilly and dally in bed all day. I have a duck to prepare and your momma's recipe call for 24 hourse of marinating and I haven't even deseed the chile's yet.

George Tucker: So make something else.

Lemon Breeland: Baby, I can't just make something else, tomorrow's dinner has to be perfect. Your parents only come into town once a month and that doesn't give me nearly enough time with them.

George Tucker: Really? Cause I feel the exact opposite.

Lemon Breeland: George, I'm being serious. Don't you want your momma to like me?

George Tucker: She does like you!

Lemon Breeland: She finds me silly and highstrung and you know it. She doesn't take me seriously, George, and we're getting married and this dinner is a symbol of our future. Pretty soon we're going to be having Thanksgiving and Christmas so I need to show her my agreeable nature.

Lemon Breeland: What? I am very agreeable?

George Tucker: Yeah, of course you are.

Lemon Breeland: Good now, try and get home early from work tomorrow. The earlier we eat the better, otherwise your dad's gonna get started on the bourbon and we know what happens next!

George Tucker: Football!

Lemon Breeland: Football!

George Tucker: Well, maybe you should talk to Brick!

Lemon Breeland: Well, maybe you should talk to your daddy.

George Tucker: Alright, I will see about getting home early tomorrow.

Lemon Breeland: Thank you!

George Tucker: But for now...that duck can wait.

George Tucker: It is a heat wave!

(Dr. Breeland and Dr. Hart's Office: Waiting Room)

Zoe Hart: Mosquito bites...

Frederick Dean: I got 'e on my boat last night.

Zoe Hart: It looks like they'll extend towards...

Fredrick Dean: Uh, my butt ox, yes ma'am do you need to see?

Zoe Hart: Oh, no! I will take your word for it! It's just a little strange that it's on your back side and your right leg and none on you r front side and your left leg.

Fredrick Dean: Well, it's not that strange considering the position I was in.

Zoe Hart: And what position would that be?

Fredrick Dean: Are you familiar with the __________?

Zoe Hart: Addie?! Could you please get this young man some calamine lotion? Buckets worth!

Addie: Come on, Fred! You little devil.

Polly Parker: That vase was supposed to be mine.

Fiona Parker: Mama changed her mind about the vase when she gave you the car!

Polly Parker: Well I didn't want the car I wanted the vase and you know it!

Fiona Parker: Well you go the car.

Addie: Ladies, what in the world is all this fuss?

George Tucker: Addie, you remember the Parker sisters?

Addie: Of course I do! Polly, Fiona how are you two ladies?

Fiona Parker: I am bleeding, thank you very much! My sister tried to kill me with a desk clock.

Polly Parker: If I was trying to kill you you'd already be dead.

Addie: Oh, both of you hush up! I'm gonna take you in to see Brick. We'll try to sort this out.

George Tucker: Hey, you know what...we might need to separate them between doctors. Polly's awfully riled up.

Addie: You wanna give Dr. Hart one of Dr. Breeland's patients? Brick's not gonna like that!

George Tucker: Well, there is a heat wave in Bluebell and you guys are swamped so I am sure Brick won't mind that much.

Zoe Hart: I'll take the bleeding one! Just tell Brick to give that one a sedative or something.

Polly Parker: I don't want a sedative.

Zoe Hart: But I do! So would you save it for me? Bleeding lady, please, come in here!

Fiona Parker: Thank you!

(Patient Exam Room)

Fiona Parker: I am telling you she is getting worse and worse! Lord knows Polly has always been difficult but ever since mama died she's gone down right insane!

George Tucker: We were going over their mothers will for the 3rd time this month and things got a little heated and before I knew it my desk clock was in the air!

Zoe Hart: How long ago did your mother pass away?

Fiona Parker: About eight months ago...but we knew it was coming! She'd been fighting a loosing battle with cancer for oh, three years or so.

George Tucker: Hey, things are going to get easier aright? We'll get through this together. I promise.

Fiona Parker: Thank you., Mr. Tucker. Have you ever met a nicer lawyer in your life? So handsome. Broke the mold with this one! Yes, they did..

Zoe Hart: Well, you are all fixed. Feel better...you!

Fiona Parker and George Tucker: Fiona.

Zoe Hart: Fiona, I knew that!

George Tucker: Y'all have a good day!

Zoe Hart: We should turn the AC on, it's hot in here don't you think?

(Town Center)

Didi: Oh, Mr. Tucker!

George Tucker: Everything alright, Didi?

I didn't know how long you were gonna be with the Parker twins, and I wanted to make sure I go your signature on these.

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