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[Scene opens with Zoe trying to fix a sparking fusebox.]

Wade Kinsella: Oh hey there, Doc. Notice how whenever I come around there's always sparks?

Zoe Hart: If you like that wait 'til you see my tazer.

Wade Kinsella: Listen, do you want me to help you fix the fusebox or not?

Zoe Hart: The fuse keeps blowing because of your new amp, so no, I do not want or need your help.

Wade Kinsella: My guess is you're overloading it with all your girl stuff.

Zoe Hart: Yeah, that's me, with my girly Wi-Fi connection and my silly cell-phone that I only use to look at pictures of ponies. Well, apparently I have alienated most of the people in this town.

Wade Kinsella: More like all of 'em.

Zoe Hart: ...so the internet and the phone are my only contact with humanity.

Wade Kinsella: Okay...I'm going to get a bucket of lake water, so when you catch on fire it doesn't spread my way.

[Scene shifts to Rammer Jammer.]

Man: Hey. You're the one that ruined our parade, aren't you?

Zoe Hart: Yeah. That was me. Thanks for remembering.

Shelley Ng: Hi.

Zoe Hart: Oh, good morning Shelley! I'm in the mood for an egg-white greek omelet with fetta cheese and calmont olives.

Shelley Ng: Get over that mood. You fried or scrambled.

Zoe Hart: Scrambled. Be great.

Shelley Ng: Okay, scrambled to go.

Zoe Hart: I didn't say to go.

Shelley Ng: I'm just thinking about your safety.

George Tucker: Hello there, Dr. Hart.

Zoe Hart: Are you sure you want to be seen talking to me?

George Tucker: Um. Yeah, I'll take my chances.

Zoe Hart: What's with the suit- you have a funeral to get to?

George Tucker: Nah, I'm just taking some depositions up in Mobile. But I just wanted to warn you that I think someone as a joke signed you up for our annual cook-off tomorrow.

Zoe Hart: Did it occur to you that I may have signed up myself?

George Tucker: No, it did not.

Zoe Hart: Because I did.

George Tucker: You did?

Zoe Hart: I love to cook. I cook like crazy. I watch cooking shows on the cooking show channel. Do you?

George Tucker: I don't think I get that channel.

Zoe Hart: You should lobby your local cable provider because it is an excellent venue for shows about cooking, which I love to do.

George Tucker: Okay then. Well I should probably tell you that Brick Breeland pretty much always wins our cook-off.

Zoe Hart: So I have heard. But I don't care. Face it, I haven't started off well in Bluebell with sabotaging the parade, making an arch-enemy of your fiance...

George Tucker: Misdiagnosing the tick bite.

Zoe Hart: I am glad you're keeping track. But you know more than anyone that I need thirty percent of the patients to keep my part of the practice.

George Tucker: Yeah, and gumbo's going to do that how?

Zoe Hart: I am a good doctor. But apparently the people of Bluebell are quick to distrust strangers. I need to prove to this town that I belong here. And what better way than participating in the town cook-off? If I beat Brick Breeland while I'm at it, well that will just be the cherry on the gumbo.

George Tucker: Well okay.

[Scene shifts outside the Rammer Jammer.]

Lemon Breeland: Alrighty AnnaBeth, now what was it you wanted to tell us about that Dr. Hart?

AnnaBeth Nass: Well, I heard from my cousin Rhonda's boyfriend, Lane, who's like best friends with this kid Zander, who mows the Mayor's lawns-

Lemon Breeland: Oh my goodness, AnnaBeth, I can feel myself aging.

AnnaBeth Nass: Sorry...but the lawn boy says sometimes Zoe Hart has breakfast with the Mayor.

Lemon Breeland: In his home? [ AnnaBeth nods] Is your lawn boy suggesting that they're sleeping together?

AnnaBeth Nass: What? Oh, Lord, no. She comes in from the Carriage House to eat. First thing, wakes up and walks right over.

Lemon Breeland: Of course she does, silly, that's where the food is. Now, if there not sleeping together what was the point of your epic tale?

AnnaBeth Nass: She parades around in front of the Mayor without a stitch of make-up.

Lemon Breeland: Well obviously that girl has- [Notices George and Zoe talking through window.] Continue your reconnaissance AnnaBeth, that girl is a walkin- [ Zoe passes by]. A walking menace.'

[Scene shifts to medical practice.]

Didi Ruano: Hi! Name, insurance carrier and Dr. Breeland will be right with you.

Zoe Hart: Actually, I'm a doctor. I work here. Who are you?

Didi Ruano: Didi? Your new receptionist?

Zoe Hart: Our new receptionist?

Didi Ruano: That's strange, Dr. Breeland never mentioned anything about another doctor.

Zoe Hart: It's not that strange, really.

Brick Breeland: Folks, I'm sorry, you can wait a little bit or you can come back later, but Doris Culp thinks Albert is having a heart attack again. And I think we all know she's just trying to handicap my gumbo making, but little does she know that I put my pot on last night.

Zoe Hart: How could you hire a new receptionist without consulting me? We share this practice, fifty fifty.

Brick Breeland: Except all the patients are mine. But you know, if you want to choose the kind of lollipops we hand out, that's all yours.

Didi Ruano: I vote for lime or cherry. Not grape. [To Lavon] Hi! I'm so sorry, but Dr. Breeland just stepped out.

Zoe Hart: Wha- excuse me? How do you know he's here to see Brick and not to see me?

Didi Ruano: I will ask, but I don't want you to get your hopes up.

Lavon Hayes: I was in the neighborhood, thought I'd look in on Dr. Hart. I'm Lavon Hayes, I don't believe we've met.

Didi Ruano: Hi! I'm Didi. I've only been living here a short while, I just moved out from Georgia about a month ago.

Lavon Hayes: Oh, well please allow the Mayor of our fair town to welcome you.

Didi Ruano: The Mayor? Wo- wow! Look at me, getting all flustered around famous people!

Mother: Where's Dr. Breeland?

Zoe Hart: He had to leave, can I help you?

Mother: Are you a doctor?

Didi Ruano: I know, right? Weird.

Mother: My son was bitten by a snake.

Zoe Hart: Okay, no problem. Let's check it out.

[Scene shifts to exam room.]

Mother: He had a sleepover at his friends and they went to explore inside the old Hooper house, where I have told him a million times not to play.

Zoe Hart: Right, and there was a snake?

Woman: Well he didn't see it, but he stepped into a hole in the floor and it bit him, which is why we don't play in that house!

Zoe Hart: No ____, minor swelling, and no fever.

Mother: So it wasn't poisonous?

Zoe Hart: Probably.

Mother: Probably it was or probably it wasn't?

Zoe Hart: I'm going to go get him an antihistamine. Excuse me.

[Scene shifts to main office.]

Zoe Hart: Sorry, I need to check something online.

Didi Ruano: So...is that Lavon guy single?

Zoe Hart: Huh? Oh, yeah, he is.

Didi Ruano: He seems really nice. And cute. But, I mean, he's the Mayor so I'm sure he's got tons and tons of girls swoonin' all ov-

Zoe Hart: To treat a snakebite you need to determine the kind of snake that made the bite. Crap!

Didi Ruano: Did you just Ask Jeeves how to cure a snakebite?

[Scene shifts to exam room.]

Zoe Hart: Here you go. So, luckily the reaction is local so the chance of envenomation is small. But I want to make sure we know exactly what kind of snake we're dealing with, so I'm just going to do some quick research. You sit tight. I'll take that.

[Scene shifts to Wade's car pulling into old Hooper House.]

Wade Kinsella: First the fusebox, then you don't have a car. Admit it, Doc. You need my help.

Zoe Hart: Technically, I did not need your help. I finally get my first patient and it's a freaking snakebite! I simply needed you to take me to the snake. You are my ride, not my help. Very different.

Wade Kinsella: Okay, well, you got your ride.

Zoe Hart: But...but there's a snake in there.

Wade Kinsella: Probably a few.

Zoe Hart: Aren't you going to come in, too?

Wade Kinsella: No, I'm just the driver. [Pause.] Say please, Doc.

Zoe Hart: Please.

Wade Kinsella: Here snakey, snakey, snakey! Ah, the old Hooper house- used to bring my high school girlfriends here.

Zoe Hart: Please tell me they were still breathing at the time.

Wade Kinsella: There's no need to look up. The poisonous ones don't climb. Well, cottonmouths sometimes, but not in these parts. Usually.

Zoe Hart: What do you mean usually?

Wade Kinsella: No, what we're looking for is a rattler, a copperhead- a real pretty tan thing with brown blotches.

Wade Kinsella: Oh, my God.

Zoe Hart: What?

[ Wade jumps, Zoe screams and falls.]

Zoe Hart: Ow, Wade!

Wade Kinsella: Oh, it's a rope, okay? You are so city.

Zoe Hart: Copperhead.

Wade Kinsella: What?

Zoe Hart: Copperhead!

Wade Kinsella: Wow, well that was quick. Lucky we found it.

Zoe Hart: Not really.

Wade Kinsella: Whoa.

[Scene shifts to medical practice.]

Zoe Hart: God, this is so stupid, you don't need to carry me.

Wade Kinsella: First rule of a snakebit, Doc. Can't let the victim exert herself.

Zoe Hart: What's the second rule, apply pressure to side of boob? Put me down!

Wade Kinsella: Well, glad I could be of help.

Didi Ruano: Oh no! Hon, what happened?

Zoe Hart: Found the snake, and vice versa.

Mother: Oh, my Lord, thank God for Dr. Breeland. He knew exactly what kind of snake bit my son- a copperhead- without going anywhere. And he could tell how much venom was in there- without going anywhere.

Zoe Hart: Yeah, well I got proof firsthand. Get it? Hand?

Didi Ruano: You poor thing. Let's get you in to see the doctor.

Zoe Hart: I am the doctor.

Didi Ruano: The other doctor. Come on, come on! Maybe if you wore a stethoscope or something...

[Scene shifts to exam room.]

Brick Breeland: Well, you should've just called me. I've seen about a thousand copperhead bites in my career.

Zoe Hart: Well, unfortunately by the time my people settled onto the island of Manhattan the copperhead population had dwindled a bit.

Brick Breeland: Yeah, well I think that we can agree that after this, one of us belongs in this town. The other, does not.

[Scene shifts to kitchen at Mayor's Plantation'.]

Zoe Hart: Can you believe he said that? It's going to make it all the more delicious when I destroy him in the gumbo contest.

Lavon Hayes: Oh I'm sorry, I'm looking for the wrong thing. You want the magic gumbo pot.

Zoe Hart: Oh! Hey, I forgot to tell you- our new receptionist Didi asked about you.

Lavon Hayes: She did?

Zoe Hart: Uh-huh. She thinks you're cute. Ask her out.

Lavon Hayes: Yeah, um. Yeah, there's uh, someone, or something I'm still trying to get over. Thanks, though. Aha! There it is. Knew I had one- I banged on it once to scare off a opossum.

Zoe Hart: Perfect.

Lavon Hayes: Doesn't come with the gumbo already in it, you know. [Laughs.] The cook-off is tomorrow, and I hope you know gumbo takes a while to prepare.

Zoe Hart: You see, the word prepare could be interpreted many ways. It just so happens that Emeril Lagasse is one of my mother's clients, and he agreed to overnight me a vat of his best gumbo. I am prepared for it to arrive, at which point I will prepare to put it into this pot.

Lavon Hayes: I did not hear any of that, you understand? I am the Mayor of this town, sworn to uphold the laws, and the traditions, and the integrity of the gumbo festival.

Zoe Hart: Aw, I just want to beat Brick- just let me win, come on!

Wade Kinsella: Hey, uh, Doc? I found this package, or what's left of it on your stoop. Ba-blow.

Zoe Hart: [Gasps.] It's my gumbo! Look at this! I'm going to sue that stupid overnight carrier.

Wade Kinsella: Well, you might have to sue the Mayor's alligator. I saw him slithering away one happy reptile.

Zoe Hart: Burt Reynolds ate my gumbo!

Lavon Hayes: We cannot blame the gator. Besides, keeps me from having to disqualify you.

Wade Kinsella: Hey, listen, my Uncle Mo's got a pretty kickass gumbo recipe if you want my help, I'm-

Zoe Hart: I do not need your help, Wade. Last time I had your help I also got this.

Lavon Hayes: Well, what are you gon' do now?

Zoe Hart: I have no choice. I'll have Emeril e-mail me his recipe and I'll make my own gumbo!

Lavon Hayes: Do you even know how to cook?

Zoe Hart: Why does everyone keep asking me that?

Wade Kinsella: Uh, because we don't think you can cook.

Zoe Hart: I'm going to figure it out, okay? Come hell or high water, I'm going to become a respected part of this...extremely charming community.

[Scene shifts to town square.]

Lemon Breeland: How was your breakfast this morning at the Rammer Jammer?

George Tucker: Same as it is most days. Had the fruit plate.

Lemon Breeland: Mmhm. And who all was there?

George Tucker: Lemon, if you would like to ask me if I ran into Zoe Hart, well I can't take the suspense. You've got eyes all over this town, you know very well I did.

Lemon Breeland: Well why is all I want to know. I mean why would you be treating a woman who's so obviously out to destroy me with such unapologetic kindness?

George Tucker: Well, you're supposed to treat everyone kindly, sweetheart. I think it's in the Bible.

Lemon Breeland: There's also something in there about being loyal to your fiance against her sworn enemies.

George Tucker: That's Deuteronomy, right? That one? What would you have me do, avoid all contact? [Sees Lemon's expression.] You can't be serious.

Lemon Breeland: Why? Do you want contact with her?

George Tucker: No, I have no interest in Zoe Hart, but I also don't-

Lemon Breeland: There's no problem then, is there? Yay, so we agree. You don't talk to her and everyone sees that we are on the same team! Have a good day sweetheart.

[ George and Lemon move away to reveal Lavon standing behind them.]

Lavon Hayes: Hey.

Didi Ruano: Well hey yourself, Mr. Mayor.

Lavon Hayes: It's good to see you.

[Scene shifts to The Dixie Stop.]

Zoe Hart: But the recipe says the shrimp can't have veins.

Sal Nutter: Ma'am, I don't know what kind of shrimp you got in New York, but in Alabama, shrimp got veins. Now you want 'em de-veined, you're gon' have to do that yourself. You can use our butcher block out back.

Zoe Hart: Wha- I don't know how to de-vein a shrimp.

Sal Nutter: You're the new doctor, right? Just pretend like you're doing surgery on a teeny tiny little shrimpy patient.

[Scene shifts to butcher block behind The Dixie Stop.]

Zoe Hart: Shoot! Stupid shrimp!

George Tucker: Having problems?

Zoe Hart: I'm so sorry I wasted my time in medical school when all I needed was a simple course in Cajun cooking. And now the cook-off is tomorrow, and of course that stupid alligator. And now I'm cutting the veins out of shrimp with one hand and they're slippery, and they're slimy and hasn't this town ever heard of pre-cooked shrimp?

George Tucker: Back up. What I got out of that mish-mash is that you're having trouble with your gumbo.

Zoe Hart: My gumbo? Try everything. Whatever I do down here reflects on the memory of Harley Wilkes, and I have got to make the people believe that I am worthy of following in his footsteps. So it may sound silly, but it seems that the only way to make that happen is by winning this cook-off.

George Tucker: Put down the knife. Back away from the shrimp. You're coming with me, okay? I got an idea.

Zoe Hart: Good, because I'm losing my mind.

George Tucker: Come on.

[Scene shifts to George's truck pulling into farmstand.]

George Tucker: I mean come on- slice of pizza, two in the morning-

Zoe Hart: Stop. You're making me hungry for New York.

George Tucker: But you know what I really love? The Buttercup Cod at Bon Street? I used to dream about that.

Zoe Hart: Oh yeah? No no no, my favorite sushi was at _______ on Fifth Street.

George Tucker: Never had it.

Zoe Hart: No?

George Tucker: No. Alright, favorite dish. Mine is the sweet corn ris-

Zoe Hart: The risotto at Per Se!

George Tucker: -at Per Se, yeah.

Zoe Hart: Oh, that was my favorite, too.

George Tucker: So good.

Zoe Hart: I used to go on my nights off from the hospital.

George Tucker: Wow, yeah. My office was right around the corner, I used to take clients all the time. I wonder if we were ever there at the same time- though I'd probably remember that. Alright, Zoe Hart, well-

Zoe Hart: What?

George Tucker: -you may be an expert at New York cuisine, but I know gumbo. And the secret to a good gumbo is the base, you got to use fresh tomatoes like this one. Is this not the most incredible tomato you've ever seen in your life? Worth the drive alone.

Zoe Hart: Oh, yeah, nothing like all other tomatoes. So, how is the wedding planning coming?

George Tucker: Well, uh, it's fairly insane. Tastings, florists... Lemon wants it to be the event of the season, and by season she means millennium. Lemon just wants the best for everything.

Zoe Hart: Oh, well then you should definitely get her some of those world famous tomatoes, too.

George Tucker: Yeah, I don't think she needs any.

Zoe Hart: Oh, my God!

George Tucker: What?

Zoe Hart: That's the reason why we drove out to the middle of nowhere to this farmstand- Lemon doesn't know your with me!

George Tucker: Well, you're not exactly one of her favorite people.

Zoe Hart: Yeah...

George Tucker: She asked me not to talk to you.

Zoe Hart: Of course she did. I'm the lunatic that ruined her parade. Stay away from crazy Zoe and her witchy blue-state black magic. I didn't think that you'd believe that, too.

[Scene shifts to Rammer Jammer.]

Wade Kinsella: So you ran into her on the street and you said what?

Lavon Hayes: Just hey.

Wade Kinsella: That was it, just- just hey?

Lavon Hayes: Just hey. And I might've said nice to see you.

Wade Kinsella: Whoa.

Lavon Hayes: I know.

Wade Kinsella: Well I thought you said you laid on the charm when you first saw her.

Lavon Hayes: That was before I knew she was into me. I froze! I had no idea how to even start!

Wade Kinsella: How do you normally start things? Just go back to that.

Lavon Hayes: Lavon Hayes was a pro football player. People started things for me.

Wade Kinsella: Look, just- you're a little out of shape is all, champ. Practice.

Lavon Hayes: Practice.

Wade Kinsella: You can't go into a game all cold. Here, look, pretend I'm her. Act like I'm, wait, what's her name again?

Lavon Hayes: Didi.

Wade Kinsella: Pretend I'm Didi.

Shelley Ng: I wish I had my gun.

Wade Kinsella: Is it Didi D-i-d-i or D-double e-D-double e? 'Cause I've seen it spelled both ways.

Lavon Hayes: Why is that important?

Wade Kinsella: I'm just trying to understand my character. Alright, go ahead, I'm her.

Lavon Hayes: Hey...Didi....

Wade Kinsella: Well hey there. Don't you just look fine?

Shelley Ng: Oh dear God.

Lavon Hayes: Why would you say that?

Wade Kinsella: I don't know, I mean, you know, 'cause she thinks you're hot or something?

Lavon Hayes: Yeah, but she wouldn't say it first thing.

Wade Kinsella: Girls do to me.

Lavon Hayes: Well, we not pretending like it's you, we pretending like it's me!

Wade Kinsella: Hey hey, dude- I'm-I'm trying to help you out here.

Lavon Hayes: You're really bad at this.

Wade Kinsella: Okay, fine. You know what? I'm calling an audible. Whole new plan. Ignore her.

Lavon Hayes: What?

Wade Kinsella: Freeze her out. I know for a fact chicks dig that.

Lavon Hayes: Really?

Shelley Ng: Okay, I have to put a stop to this. Asking Wade how to woo women is like asking a hunter how to train bears. A woman wants a romantic gesture- do that.

Wade Kinsella: I don't know. Could be a trick.

[Scene shifts to farmstand.]

Zoe Hart: Oh, I should've asked for another paper bag so I could put it over my head and you could sneak me into your car.

George Tucker: You're funny.

Farmhand: Someone call 911!

Zoe Hart: I'm a doctor! What is it?

Farmhand: The farmer's been in an accident!

Zoe Hart: I'm going to go help out. Just go, I'll find a way home.

Farmhand: He was trying to fix it and it just- the thing collapsed on him.

Zoe Hart: Pulse is weak.

George Tucker: Okay, let's get it off him. Come on.

Zoe Hart: Wait, stop! This part is gouging into a major artery- it's stopping the blood flow. If you lift it he'd completely bleed out.

George Tucker: Well we can't just leave him under there, we gotta get him to the hospital.

Zoe Hart: Yeah, but hospital's thirty minutes away.

George Tucker: [To Farmhand.] Alright, go out to the road, wait for the ambulance, direct them here.

Zoe Hart: Give me your tie.

George Tucker: Yeah, of course.

Zoe Hart: Even when the ambulance gets here, it's still going to take thirty minutes to get him back to the hospital. He won't make it. Alright, we have to stop the bleeding. Oh, God, I only have one hand, I can't do this by myself. We have no choice- we have to call Brick.

George Tucker: I know. I'll call him.

[Scene shifts to medical practice.]

Didi Ruano: Okay, I've paged Dr. Breeland. Good luck, Mr. Tucker.

Lemon Breeland: My goodness, what lovely flowers. Hello there, you must be Didi.

Didi Ruano: That's right.

Lemon Breeland: Oh, it's a pretty name. I'm Dr. Breeland's daughter, and when Daddy told me he had hired a new receptionist, I said Lemon, you have just got to bring that girl a covered dish.

Didi Ruano: That is so sweet of you! Well, I ought to feel welcome by now- a casserole from you, flowers from the Mayor!

Lemon Breeland: Mayor?

Didi Ruano: Lavon Hayes?

Lemon Breeland: Why yes, I know who our Mayor is, dear. That is just so thoughtful of him. He is quite the public servant, isn't he?

Didi Ruano: Oh my gosh, he is so nice. I was just about to call him and thank him.

Lemon Breeland: You know what? I would wait. Because men, they enjoy the chase.

Didi Ruano: You might be right.

Lemon Breeland: Hey, listen, Didi, you know what? There don't seem to be any more patients waiting, why don't you close up early and you and I go out for a drink, get to know each other better?

Didi Ruano: Really? Wow. That would be great. I would just love that.

[Scene shifts to barn.]

Brick Breeland: Okay, don't worry, I'm here- as are the two of you. Interesting. Oscar, it's Dr. Breeland, can you hear me?

Zoe Hart: You know him?

Brick Breeland: 'Course I do. You talk to his wife?

Zoe Hart: There wasn't time. I've been busy putting on his tourniquet and monitoring his pulse. I'm guessing he's lost over 500 CCs of blood. The only reason he hasn't bled to death is because this thing is acting as an arterial clamp.

Brick Breeland: And if they lift it he will die.

Zoe Hart: Right. Our only hope is to do an arterial cutdown above the point of impact, but I only have one hand, so-

Brick Breeland: An arterial cutdown?

Zoe Hart: Look, I've done a lot of them, Brick, I can talk you through it.

Brick Breeland: Oh, you want me to be your puppet?

Zoe Hart: I want us to save his life.

[Scene shifts to a little later in the barn.]

Zoe Hart: Alright, now you need to make the longitudinal incision. Eight centimeters distal to the anti__________ using an eleven-bite scalpel.

Brick Breeland: Alright. I made the incision.

Zoe Hart: Now I need you to use your fingers to push until you palpate the radial artery. The radial artery's connected to the thumb.

Brick Breeland: I know where the radial artery is, I did go to medical school, too.

Zoe Hart: Just let me know when it's isolated.

Brick Breeland: I got it.

Zoe Hart: Now remember, the radial nerve is immediately lateral to the radial artery. You need to manuever around it- if you kink that nerve-

Brick Breeland: Paralysis. Again, I know.

Zoe Hart: Now with one hand, I need you to push aside the muscle, and with the other I need you to clamp the artery.

[[[Oscar Balderrama|Oscar]] gasps.]

Brick Breeland: He's waking up.

Zoe Hart: No no no, he can't move, he'll rip the artery!

Brick Breeland: No no, you can't move now. I'm doing this as quick as I can, Oscar. Look, I know it hurts, I know it, but you got to stay still. Just think of Patty and Tyler, okay? Do this for them, okay? Can you do this for them? That's it, that's it.

George Tucker: Good job, Brick.

Zoe Hart: Alright. Apply the clamp.

Brick Breeland: Yeah, it's clamped.

Zoe Hart: Good. Now you need to slowly bring the systolic down to test it.

Brick Breeland: Okay... oh thank the Lord. He's not bleeding out.

George Tucker: Alright. Alright, let's get him out of here.

[Scene shifts to Mayor's Plantation.]

Lavon Hayes: I don't get it. Send someone flowers, and they supposed to call and- and say thank you.

Wade Kinsella: Maybe she's allergic to flowers, you know? Maybe her face is all [makes noise].

Lavon Hayes: Zoe said Didi likes me. So why don't she call?

Wade Kinsella: Hey. Bridget Jones. Why don't you quit wining, beer up, and come over here so I can whoop your ass at this game real fast. Thank you.

Lavon Hayes: You right. You right. Screw her. She want to pass up a shot at Lavon Hayes.

Wade Kinsella: Lavon Hayes!

Lavon Hayes: I'm saying! It's her loss.

Wade Kinsella: Right? That dirt off your shoulder, man.

Lavon Hayes: Yeah.

Wade Kinsella: Let's do this.

Lavon Hayes: Hey, can we lower the volume a bit- in case, you know, the phone rings?

[Scene shifts to the Rammer Jammer.]

Lemon Breeland: Well, so tell me a little bit about yourself. Do you want to settle down in Bluebell? Permanently?

Didi Ruano: I think so. It's a real beautiful town and everyone seems real sweet, starting with the Mayor. He is

Both: so nice.

Lemon Breeland: Yes, we covered this already. So tell me, Didi, what do you want to do? I mean, I can't imagine a bright girl like you'd want to be a receptionist forever.

Didi Ruano: No, no. Obviously this isn't my dream job, and it doesn't pay very well, but Dr. Breeland said I was definitely going to get a raise.

Lemon Breeland: Oh, Daddy! Oh my goodness, you know what honey? Let me tell you something- since we are talking about nice men, my daddy is the nicest man, but if he says he is going to pay you more, he means compliments and that is about it.

Didi Ruano: Oh...

Lemon Breeland: You know what? I think I know where you can make twice as much money.

Didi Ruano: Really?

Lemon Breeland: Yes! We are Alabama women, we need to help each other whenever we can.

Didi Ruano: Wow.

[Scene shifts to outside barn.]

George Tucker: That was amazing. You were- you were so focused, and in control in there. That was- it was, it was impressive.

Zoe Hart: Thank you, but that was surgery. I've trained for it my whole life. I've just never done it via proxy or ankle-deep in manure.

Brick Breeland: Let's go and get you to the hospital real quick now. And don't you worry about Patty, I'm going to stop by the house and I'm going to tell her you are going to be fine.

Oscar Balderrama: Thank you.

EMT: Where's the doctor who saved you?

Oscar Balderrama: There he is. Dr. Breeland.

EMT: Nice job, sir. You performed a miracle.

Brick Breeland: I did what I had to do. And you might want to be getting home now, George. It's getting late.

[Scene shifts to kitchen at Mayor's Plantation.]

Zoe Hart: I did it! I saved that man's arm and his life. I had to stand there and watch while he took all the credit for it.

Lavon Hayes: Sucks- oh, that's not salt. That's cleanser. You're not the only one saving lives around here.

Zoe Hart: I've been up all night cooking this stuff. I can't even see straight. What did I do to make Brick hate me so much?

Lavon Hayes: It's not you, sweetheart, it's him. He's an arrogant son-of-a-bitch. Always has been.

Wade Kinsella: One thing I can bet those little shorts of yours on- the entire town's gon' think he's a hero by now.

Zoe Hart: You know what? Screw George.

Wade Kinsella: George?

Zoe Hart: I'm going to set everyone straight. I'm going to march into that cook-off and I am going to tell everyone what a phony Brick Breeland is.

Lavon Hayes: No you're not. Nah, if you want people in this town to think that you're one of them, you're going to go to the cook-off, put your game face on, suck it up, and mix it in with the community. Hmm?

Zoe Hart: Fine. You're right. Maybe I can still win the gumbo contest. Will you try it?

Lavon Hayes: Um, a moral victory's good, too.

[[[Wade Kinsella|Wade]] laughs.]

Zoe Hart: Oh, man! Do you have a garbage disposal?

Lavon Hayes: No, wait wait- hang on. Burt Reynolds! Breakfast time!

[Scene shifts to the Gumbo Cook-Off at the Rammer Jammer.]

Old Lady #1: I heard he did the entire procedure lying on the ground!

Old Lady #2/Delma Warner: On his stomach!

Old Lady #3: And then, he got home in time to make his gumbo even more scrumptious than last year!

Lemon Breeland: Daddy, I'm just so proud of you I could burst. How about a good tall glass of lemonade for the town hero?

Brick Breeland: Now, no more hero talk from you Lemon meringue, but a nice cold drink sounds good.

Lemon Breeland: George?

George Tucker: No, I'm okay. Thanks. So, you are really going to let all these people think it was all your doing, huh?

Brick Breeland: What, are you going to contradict me? Because see, then you'd have to explain what you were doing outside of town with that woman.

George Tucker: Brick, you know damn well nothing was going on.

Brick Breeland: Oh, you and I may believe that, but I'm just not so sure that my daughter would.

[[[Lavon Hayes|Lavon]] and Zoe enter Rammer Jammer.]

Dash DeWitt: Mayor, Mr. Mayor! Did you hear the news?

Lavon Hayes: Uh, no.

Dash DeWitt: You know, Brick saved that man's arm- and his life. Our next town hall meeting we got to take a vote on having a Brick Breeland Day!

Lavon Hayes: I will consider that, Dash- thank you.

Zoe Hart: Moral victories bite. I'm getting a drink.

Didi Ruano: Mr. Mayor? I just want to say thank you so much for the beautiful flowers.

Lavon Hayes: Flowers? Oh, yeah, yeah, I did send flowers. I'm glad you like 'em.

Didi Ruano: Well, okay. Thanks again. Bye.

Lavon Hayes: Didi- um, Didi. Would you like to go out to dinner sometime? With me, I mean?

Didi Ruano: Oh, gosh, um... wow, uh, I'm sorry, I'm moving to Montgomery in a couple days.

Lavon Hayes: Wait- I'm sorry, you're moving?

Didi Ruano: Yeah, I got a job at a law firm up there, and the salary's way more than I'm making now. I still got a lot of school loans to pay. So, um...I'm sorry! I like you, but there's no point getting involved if I'm not staying.

Lavon Hayes: Right, no. Yeah, I get it.

Didi Ruano: Oh, there's Lemon! I have to go and thank her- she called in a favor and got me the job. How nice is that?

[Scene switches to the bar.]

Wade Kinsella: Are you not telling the truth to protect George Tucker for some reason? 'Cause if you were, that'd be real stupid.

Zoe Hart: For the four hundredth time, I do not need your advice, your help, or your Alabama lovin'. Just get me another water, okay?

Wade Kinsella: Yep.

Brick Breeland: I'll have another lemonade, son.

Wade Kinsella: You got it.

Brick Breeland: Hope you're not boozin', you've got office hours this afternoon. Of course, seeing how you don't have any patients, what the hell? Drink up.

Zoe Hart: I know my responsibilities. I'm honorable.

Tom Long: Brick! I just spoke to a guy down at WBMA, he said that the radio station wants to do a story about you for saving Oscar Balderrama.

Brick Breeland: Well, that sounds good, Tom.

Zoe Hart: How dare you?

Brick Breeland: Excuse me?

Zoe Hart: How can you stand there and take credit for something that I did? If you had been there alone yesterday, that man would be one-armed or worse. You know damn well I was the brains behind that procedure. You were simply my assistant.

Brick Breeland: Dr. Brick Breeland is no one's assistant. Most certainly not to some arrogant New York newbie.

Zoe Hart: I may be a newbie, but I am also a surgeon. And like it or not, I was useful yesterday. You know how much it would mean to me to finally prove myself. You know that I need patients to hold on to my father's practice. But you are a prideful Southern man who can't admit that he had to defer to a woman.

Brick Breeland: Miss Hart, that is my practice, too. One that I have worked a long time for, one that I deserve to have all to myself. And yes, you may have led the way on that cutdown, but that is not all that happened out there. When Oscar was panicking, and pushing that plow off, and about to bleed out, I am the one that got him calm. And I am the one that went to the hospital and stayed with him. And I am the one who went out to their farm and talked to his wife, and I promised her her husband was going to be alright, that his arm was going to be alright, that their farm was going to be alright. I don't recall seeing you out there. Yes, I admit that I may be a proud man, and maybe I did take credit for a procedure I didn't wholly do, but if you can't admit that I saved Oscar's life just as much as you did, then you are just as prideful as I am.

[Scene shifts to center of Rammer Jammer.]

Dash DeWitt: May I have your attention, please? Attention, please! It's that time again. And the winner of this year's gumbo cook-off, and still champion- our local hero, Dr. Brick Breeland!

[Applause.]

Brick Breeland: Well, thank you all. Thank y'all so much, I really appreciate it. Um, you know as they say in Hollywood, my gumbo was honored just to be nominated, but I got to tell you...

Dash DeWitt: [To Zoe] Congratulations! Your gumbo won second prize!

Zoe Hart: What? But I didn't-

Brick Breeland: ...because it was so good. And I did take a taste of everybody's gumbo, and I don't know how the judges....

Lemon Breeland: Oh my God, I hope that Daddy doesn't make that Dumbo joke again. You okay, honey?

George Tucker: Lemon, I'm about to do something that's going to make you really angry.

Lemon Breeland: What?

George Tucker: Just remember that I love you.

George Tucker: [To Zoe.] I'm going up there, and I'm going to tell the truth about what happened yesterday, and I don't care if Lemon finds out because people need to know who really saved that farmer.

Zoe Hart: No. It's not as simple as that. Brick may have done more than I realized.

Brick Breeland: ...it just goes to prove what I've always said- any dumbo can make some gumbo! But enough of my yappin', let's eat!

Zoe Hart: Folks! Uh, folks, if I could just add one thing. I just learned that my gumbo took second prize somehow, and as runner-up I would like to offer my personal congratulations to Dr. Breeland. I'm sure your gumbo is excellent, and I look forward to learning the secret of making it, just as I look forward to learning from you in our medical practice. To Brick!

Lavon Hayes: [To George.] Hey man, um, I need a favor.

George Tucker: Yeah?

Lavon Hayes: Is-is Thelma still planning on styaing with her mom up in Tuscaloosa?

George Tucker: I think so.

Lemon Breeland: George?

George Tucker: [To Lavon.] Uh, you know, can I- can I just have a minute?

Lemon Breeland: So what on earth am I supposed to be so mad about?

George Tucker: Uh, well, I was just going to, I was going to go up there and say that I didn't think it was fair the same person won two years in a row... That's not what I was going to say. I didn't go to a meeting yesterday. I took Zoe Hart to go get ingredients for her gumbo.

Lemon Breeland: What? But I specifically asked you not to.

George Tucker: I know. But Zoe is new in town, she doesn't have any friends, and- and Lemon, I don't like ultimatums. And I like to be trusted.

Lemon Breeland: You're right. And I do trust you, sweetheart. But where Zoe Hart is concerned we're just going to have to agree to disagree.

[Scene shifts.]

Old Lady #2/Delma Warner: He's such a cute Mayor! Mm!

Lavon Hayes: Thank you.

Zoe Hart: Hey. I can't believe that you made my gumbo. Thank you. You are a good friend.

Lavon Hayes: Uh, what are you talking about?

Wade Kinsella: Geez, Lavon. Cheating for a girl. Where have your mayoral ethics gone?

Zoe Hart: Wade, can't you ever just let us have a nice moment?

Wade Kinsella: Sorry, geesh.

[Scene shifts outside.]

Didi Ruano: Lemon! Lemon.

Lemon Breeland: Hi.

Didi Ruano: I was just about to call you. Listen, I so so appreciate you finding me that job, but the thing is, well, I don't want to go to Montgomery.

Lemon Breeland: But honey, it's a good job. It's a great salary.

Didi Ruano: I know but I got offered another job right here in Bluebell for the same exact money!

Lemon Breeland: What?

Didi Ruano: I start next week!

Lemon Breeland: What job?

Didi Ruano: I'm going to be George Tucker's assistant. Which is great, right? 'Cause him being your fiance you and I will get to see each other all the time.

Lemon Breeland: George...his assistant. Yay.

Didi Ruano: And the whole thing was the Mayor's idea. Oh my God, he is so-

Lemon Breeland: Don't say it. He is um, he is just such an angel.

[Scene shifts to kitchen of the Mayor's Plantation.]

Lavon Hayes: You know what I don't get is how you did it.

Wade Kinsella: Did what?

Lavon Hayes: Well, you must've been cooking all night. Your Uncle Mo would be proud of you.

Wade Kinsella: I don't know what you been drinkin' Lavon. You're acting as crazy as all get-out.

Lavon Hayes: Uh-huh. I know what I know. You did Zoe a solid. Oh, you a good guy.

Wade Kinsella: I don't know what you're talking about, Mr. Mayor, but uh, Zoe Hart, she doesn't need my help. You can just ask her yourself.

[Scene shifts to medical practice.]

Didi Ruano: Okay, well I'll let Dr. Breeland know you're here. I tried to explain that there are two doctors, but she won't-

Zoe Hart: It's okay.

Brick Breeland: Now, Harold, why don't you come on in. Right on back in there. Uh, Mrs. Dixon, it's going to be a while- why don't you see Dr. Hart today? She'll take good care of you.

Zoe Hart: [To Didi.] 2:14, October 10th. Write that down somewhere, would you? Mrs. Dixon?


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