“A Month I Will Never Forget” Book Reading by local author Dalton McDaniel
Review: At the request of my editor, I went to Pageturners for the book reading of Dalton McDaniel’s new self-published novel “A Month I Will Never Forget.” I say “at the request of my editor” as I could think of many a more worthwhile thing to do: fold my pocket squares, rearrange my couch pillows, alphabetize my foot creams. The list goes on. This is where I should add a disclaimer: many of you know Dalton, and I reluctantly add my name to that list as we share a common street. I know that most of BlueBell is enchanted with Dalton: he’s an artist, a man of knowledge, a man who’s every word should be sopped up like rain to a desert flower. If you are one of them, then go ahead and drink this book up…but for the rest of us, I’d like to present the other side of the story. The month Dalton is referencing was February of two years ago, and it’s a month I also, unfortunately, will never forget.
The book is about Dalton’s brief relationship with local beauty Kaylee Graves (who he pathetically disguises as “Gracie Kraves”). Dalton describes the night he and Kaylee first fell in love: he took her on a romantic date, they floated through the night, dreamlike… well, I remember that date, and it was seven beers at the Rammer Jammer that ended with Dalton and Kaylee “floating dreamlike” to the dartboard where their faces stayed mashed for an hour (in the middle of my game no less!). Numerous times in the book he references how he and Kaylee would “walk about like babes” and “the form our maker gave us”…well, my living room looks out on Dalton’s backyard and it is near impossible to do a crossword puzzle when your neighbor is gallivanting around, playing croquet in the nude. That is a long game of awkward body movements with angles that no woman (let alone your neighbors) needs to see. Dalton ends the book with their breakup: “sometimes a bird is so beautiful that it can’t fly any longer.” Let’s start with the simple fact that the sentence makes no sense. I don’t know of any birds that cannot fly simply because they’re too beautiful. Also, wingless birds aren’t beautiful. Case in point: penguins. Most importantly, Kaylee left because Dalton cheated on her – we all saw him crying and begging her to take him back in the middle of church. Maybe you all can overlook these inconsistencies, but when the book goes on sale next week, you will not see me at the register. Dalton, I trust my review won’t ruin our weekly euchre match.Recap: The book reading was just a Dash under painful and a Dash over making me suicidal.